A New Year's Resolution

How can a family that is separated and dysfunctional be civil with each other?

How do you work through the tensions, the absoluteness, and the philosophical incompatibilities? How do you promote and foster relationships while accepting disagreements?

These questions are relevant to intact families as well because they are not immune from the disagreements. Every family has conflict and challenges.

The challenge of living with deep differences is critically important for the future of your family, and especially, your children. The answers to these questions can not be provided by wimps or by cynics. These matters take strength and conviction. Families can find a way to continue to communicate and empathize with each other despite the conflict and challenges. These skills exist and continue within both an intact family and a divorced family.

Families need to search for constructive answers because failure to do so means they will rely upon the easier destructive answers. Continuation of conflict and confrontation is assured and shall increase.

Here are some constructive answers to consider:

• Bring conflict into the light – don’t avoid discussing it
• Recognize and Acknowledge each other’s feelings
• Improve Listening Skills
• Control Anger
• Reframe by focusing on Outcomes, not Positions
• Seek solutions


Both intact and separated families need to forge a path for civil discussion and methodology that respects differences while enhancing relationships. Make your resolution now, for the New Year, to improve your family by recognizing, accepting, and applauding differences of all kinds. Let respect and civility be the cornerstone of your relationships.