Parents Using Technology to Communicate

Many years ago, my wife and I started communicating during the day by email. As a lawyer, I spend most of my day at my desk. As a teacher, my wife has the opportunity for planning time at her computer. As parents, we have the early morning rush getting the kids off to school and the evening rush getting the kids bathed and off to bed.

Our daily time together did not afford us the luxury of extended communication; therefore, we relied upon email to discuss important matters. My wife’s friend was shocked. He couldn’t believe that we did not have the time to discuss things face to face. He thought it was ridiculous that technology had become our staple for communication.

Face to face communication is important, and can’t be replaced; however, in today’s society, technology is an important tool to enhance communication, and it should not be overlooked. Technology can especially be effective for divorced parents.

Email and texting are lifesavers for divorced parents who do not communicate well. It is not uncommon for conversations to become angry and profanity-laced. By sharing emails and text messages, parents can relay the important factual information without getting embroiled in conflict. When speaking (not writing), divorced parents have a tendency to react immediately to the other parent. The conversation deteriorates quickly while the parents get caught up in the emotions rather than the information. Emails and texts can help parents move beyond the emotional reactions.

The problem with email and texting, however, is that they can help parents avoid the serious conversations that are necessary to heal and move beyond the conflict. A website called JournalForTwo.com may help in that regard. JournalForTwo.com is a private, online communications journal that is intended for use by two people. Members use the journal to communicate in an open and honest way without embarrassment or face-to-face confrontation. The JournalForTwo.com website says that it “provides enough distance for both parties to feel relaxed about sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings.”

Technology can also be used for organizing. It is difficult enough to juggle activities, school, and work in one household. It is further complicated when the juggling act involves two households. There are now companies that provide organizing and calendaring services on the internet. By using a service such as OurFamilyWizard.com or ShareKids.com, parents can post important appointments and activities to a shared calendar. They can communicate about exchange times and locations. They can also communicate about medical and other shared expenses. Everything is all in one place so the information can be posted at the convenience of the parent and read at the convenience of the other parent.