Have a Little Faith Provides Communication Tips for our Loving Relationships

Have a Little Faith chronicles Mitch Albom’s eight year journey of his developing relationship with two separate and distinct men of faith – one is his childhood Rabbi, who is now 82, and the other is a Detroit pastor, who is a reformed drug dealer preaching in a run-down church.

Although the book is about two inspirational men, and how their religious beliefs can inspire all of us, Have a Little Faith also provides communication tips for our loving relationships.

• The necessity of communication in marriage: Albom writes of the Rabbi’s experience officiating at countless weddings, and how the Rabbi is enlightened to how marriage works. Albom asks the Rabbi if he can predict which marriages will last, and the Rabbi immediately responds, “If they’re communicating well, they have a good chance. If they have a similar belief system, similar values, they have a good chance.”

• How anger destroys us: On the discussion of conflict and anger, the Rabbi counsels Albom, “It does no good to be angry or carry grudges.” He adds that people shouldn’t let their anger start in the first place.

• Discussing the power of forgiveness in reaching resolution: The Rabbi said when he has a discussion with someone after they had a disagreement, he always starts with, “I’ve thought about it, and in some ways, maybe you’re right.” The Rabbi said although he didn’t always believe that, it made the situation more relaxed and defused the conflict. They could then have a negotiation.

The Rabbi also says we are too slow in asking for forgiveness from our loved ones. He tells Albom a story about a man who buried his wife, and at the gravesite, the man has tears falling down his face.

The man says to the Rabbi, “I loved her.”

The Rabbi responds that he knows.

The man then says, “I mean…I really loved her.”

After a pause, the man says, “And I almost told her once.”

The Rabbi concludes, “Nothing haunts like the things we don’t say.”

The Guys Only Guide to Divorce

The Guys-Only Guide to Getting Over Divorce (and on With Life, Sex and Relationships)tackles common divorce questions in a Q & A format. It is written by psychologists Sam Buser and Glenn Sternes based on their experiences counseling men through divorce.

The topics including choosing an attorney, dating, and explaining divorce to your children.

You can buy the book here: http://astore.amazon.com/wwwattorneygr-20/detail/1886298327

http://www.miamiherald.com/2010/05/28/1652530/new-divorce-guide-aimed-at-men.html

Is Your Former Spouse Stopping You From Relocating?

Is your former spouse stopping you from relocating for a new job?

My client, Jane, had lost her job and home and wanted to move outside of Florida. She had been offered a new job in Texas. Of course, this meant relocating the two children she shared with her former husband, John. John, however, was not in agreement to let their children move and give up his regular parenting time. It has become common in this economy to be presented with this type of scenario.

Florida Statute 61.13001 controls the possible relocation of children after a divorce separation if there’s no agreement between the parents. The courts weigh this request on its own merits, looking at all the relevant facts and circumstances, with the priority being placed on the best interests of the child.

Many child development professionals take the position that the best parent is both parents, meaning that the parents should have an equal, or almost equal, timesharing arrangement. In my experience, the amount of time that the secondary caregiver spends with the child is a huge factor for the Judge considering relocation of a child. In my case, if John is routinely exercising all of his parenting time (and is current with his child support obligations), it is difficult to establish an appropriate replacement timesharing schedule after a relocation.

Many parents wishing to relocate point to the fact that the relocation will improve their financial situation. They argue that the move makes them more financially stable, and therefore, that has a positive effect on the child. However, it’s clear in Florida law that what's best for a parent isn't necessarily what’s best for the child. You can't just assume that improving the parent's financial situation will be seen by the Judge as an improvement for the child.

Florida Statute 61.13001 requires the parent who wishes to relocate the child to provide particular detailed information to the Court. If the relocation request is based on a new job offer, any written job offer must be attached to the petition.

Unfortunately for the parent, there is a real difficulty in having the Judge hear the request before the time to accept the job offer terminates. If you file a motion for a temporary relocation while the petition is pending, the law says the hearing must occur within 30 days of filing the motion; however, the Judge may not be willing to truly consider the relocation until a final hearing.

Why Should Parenting Time Be Considered a Parent's Obligation to a Child?

In most court cases, the parents, or the Judge, decide that ongoing and continuing contact with both parents is in the best interests of the children. What happens when continuing contact is not maintained by one parent, however?

Florida law does not require parents to exercise their parenting time. However, studies have shown that inconsistent contact with one parent may be detrimental to the children. There are some people that believe parenting time should be a parent’s obligation, not a right that they can choose to ignore.

Why should parenting time be a parent’s obligation to a child?

Inconsistent contact can lead the child to experience psychological problems due to the ongoing feelings of disappointment when parenting time is cancelled. The child may also blame their primary parent as the reason for the inconsistent contact with the other parent.

There are a number of reasons why a parent may not exercise parenting time. If the reason is emotional, the parents should seek further counseling and education to address the lingering emotions. If the reason is due to geography, work schedule, or remarriage, the parents should consider modifying the parenting schedule to be more realistic taking into account the existing restrictions.

How Can We Prevent Child Abuse?

Does a week go by without news of some sort of child abuse? It certainly seems like there’s an abusive incident every week.

This past week, my hometown news agencies reported about a 19-year-old man having a sexual relationship with a 12-year-old girl. It appears the girl agreed to have sex and considered the man her boyfriend. How did this adult male believe that his behavior was acceptable? Where are the girl’s parents or guardian?

Other types of abuses are even more common. The abuses include fatalities, neglect, physical injuries, and psychological damage.

How can we prevent child abuse?

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Since 1974, there has been federal legislation intended to support communities in providing programs and services to protect children and strengthen families. In 1982, Congress made a further commitment to identifying and implementing solutions to child abuse by proclaiming National Child Abuse Prevention Week. The next year, the proclamation became a month-long period of recognition.

During April, we can all focus on abusive behavior and stamping out all forms of abuse. Here are some ideas:

• Educate families on preventing abuse and neglect
• Promote positive parenting
• Volunteer for a Guardian ad Litem program and other agencies focused on representing children’s interests
• Mentor a child through an organization like Big Brothers, Big Sisters
• Support child welfare advocates and child abuse legislation

Great Tips on Improving Communication With Your Spouse

Attorney & Mediator Stephen F. McDonough founded The Divorce Collaborative LLC of Medway, MA in 2009 desiring to have a firm dedicated to helping clients through divorce and other family law matters. He promotes alternatives to litigation, including divorce mediation and collaborative divorce.

Attorney McDonough has written a humorous and helpful blog post on improving communication between spouses.

http://www.divorcecollaborative.com/bite-head-tips-improve-spousal-communications/#comment-198

How To Discuss Collaborative Divorce With Your Spouse

An excellent commentary on Collaborative Law and how to offer your spouse a cooperative approach in your divorce. The blog post is written by Richard Sharp, who has practiced as a solicitor in Family Law and Divorce litigation for over 25 years in Bath, Bristol, Swindon and London.

http://www.familylawcollaborativedivorce.co.uk/2010/03/articles/it-takes-two-to-get-coparenting-after-divorce/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+FamilyLawCollaborativeDivorceBlog+(Family+Law+Collaborative+Divorce+Blog)